The "It Gets Better" project started with a YouTube video created in 2010 by Dan Savage and his partner Terry Miller, because of their concern for the increased incidence of suicides among young LGBTQ youth, and bullying of LGBTQ kids in school. The project has grown by leaps and bounds, and if you poke around on YouTube you will find many many wonderful videos by folks from all walks of life. One the recent ones to me is particularly notable, partly because it comes from a place that many would assume is most unlikely - a police department. Yes it is the San Francisco police department, but still, being in law enforcement anywhere is not typically the most LGBTQ-friendly place to be. Regardless of your own identity, this is an urgent issue if we hope for a better future for kids everywhere. Here is the SFPD video ... take a few moments to look see it, and explore others either on the project web site, or YouTube, or both!
Dream of a Healing House
Many years ago I wrote an article that focused connections between on feminist thought and nursing. The article opened with a “dream of a healing house” that continues draw commentary and response from folks all over the world. So I recently requested
permission to “re-print” the dream here. The dream was inspired by the actual experience of being in a dreadful hospital with a first-rate reputation for medical intervention, advocating for my partner at the time, Charlene Eldridge (Charlene died of complications from lupus in 1993). Together we conjured up this dream wishing that her experience could have been much closer to what we dreamed might happen. Today, I might change just a few of the details about what might happen in the dream, but sadly, the realities that I still witness in hospitals is all too close to the stark reality of waking up from this dream. Still, the “dream” has in fact inspired major changes in a few scattered locations throughout the world and still inspires possibilities that I keep hoping might come to pass – even in small doses! I hope it will inspire you to move in this direction, whether you are a nurse, other provider, an advocate for someone else, or even a patient asking for a different kind of experience in your healing process!
Dream of a Healing House
I dreamed that I entered a place called a Healing House. I had to go to this house because my body was not functioning properly, and the people there could help me. I felt weak, uncertain, and scared. When I entered this place, where I had never been before, I did not know what to expect. The place was quiet, and there was a welcoming sense that began to calm my fears. The people there expected me and showed me quickly to a room where I was to live for the next several days.
My room was not large, but it was ample enough to accommodate a comfortable bed, a sofa, and a couple of chairs and small tables. There were carefully tended flowers blooming in the planter outside the window. A woman came in and introduced herself as my nurse. We sat on the sofa together to review what had brought me here and how I thought they could assist me. She wanted to know about the four people who would be there for me and when each would be arriving for their introduction to my healing process. She told me that she or another of my nurses would spend time with them, and together we would all make decisions about what to do next.
One of the first things she did was to help me relax physically and mentally. I laid on the bed as she stroked my body, coaxing me through visual images of strength, healing, and peace. She taught me ways I could bring this sense of peace over myself when I needed to during my stay. She suggested music that I could turn on whenever I needed it to help center on this sense of calm and peace. She discussed with me how I could take care of details with my family and job. She showed me how to use the things I would need while I was there, how to write notes in my record that would be important for everyone caring for me, and how to let someone know when I needed help. When she left, we had accomplished so much, and I felt so different, that it seemed like we had been together for hours. I looked at the clock – she had been there for only 50 minutes.
Over the next few hours, several other healers came into my room to get acquainted, each one introducing her- or himself and making sure that we both understood what to expect next and why they were there. Each person who came to see me wrote their name and a note about our time together on my record so that I could read it again later. Each person was concerned about being prepared for the first healing gathering that was planned for early the next day, when my four advocates would also be present. We would all talk about what I needed and share ideas about how to work together, who could best do what, and what it is that I wanted to have happen here. I was to leave the Healing House, they said, as soon as I could – I may never be cured of my disease but I would carry a healing spirit with me that would help me to no longer be afraid, and knowledge about how to live in a healthier way. They said, “We want you to leave here having had one of the best experiences of your life.”
Suddenly, I woke up from the dream. I heard “Doctor Smith, Doctor Donald Smith, please call the operator. Doctor Donald Smith, please call the operator.” Crash, bang, clang. I realized I was not in a Healing House. I was lying in a hospital. The laundry cart had just fallen over on the tile floor outside my stark, cold, almost bare room. The nurses’ call button was out of reach. I was cold, alone, and hardly knew anyone by name, except the physician who had admitted me. I felt as if nobody cared who I was. I knew nothing about what they were planning to do to me. Nobody knew who to call if something went wrong. I would have to pay for a phone if I were to have one. I had no money.
“Code 7, code 7, 8-4-0 immediately, 8-4-0 immediately.” (p 71-72)
Re-printed by permission by the National League for Nursing. Originally published in Chinn, P. L. (1989). Nursing patterns of knowing and feminist thought. Nursing and Health Care, 10(2), 71-75.
Dog-on-car, or, connections between personal and political
Over the past week or so news of Mitt Romney’s long road trip with his family dog in a kennel tied to the roof of the car has gone viral on the internet and in news casts. Some might view this story from many years ago as a trivial matter that in no way deserves so much attention. But in my view it is a welcome call for thoughtful consideration of not only what we value in a political leader, but also the connections between what we all do in our personal lives and our public/political lives.
Recently my son brought a most amazing little creature into his life, and so now, I have the
most adorable granddog imaginable. Her name is Coco, and in the photo here you see her giving me kisses on the long 4-hour ride home to Oakland after picking her up at the breeder’s. She was 8 weeks old at the time, and her preferred perch was on my shoulder, just as you see her here. Now, at the age of 3 months, and barely 3 pounds, she still greets me with enthusiastic kisses that you can only imagine from this photo!
So exactly what is “wrong” with the image of Romney’s dog being transported on the roof of his car, especially given the part of the account that includes the dog experiencing dire gastrointestinal distress, being hosed down to clean up the mess, then returned to the roof-top kennel to continue the trip? What does it mean when any of us engage in scenarios in our personal lives that raise questions about how we view and treat those around us who are less powerful? What is the value of calling for a broader consideration of the meaning of such incidents?
It is true that no one incident, especially one from years ago, is sufficient to provide a definitive picture of what a person stands for or how they will perform in a public role in the future. But it is sufficient as a spring-board for raising the kinds of questions that many are now examining, not only related to this one candidate running for the U.S. presidency, but for all of those in whom we place public trust. The fact that public discourse has turned to questioning the values and ethics of public practices that shape private lives, and vice versa, is one of the most important developments of the past few months. The dog-on-car incident stands, for me, as a symbol of the abuse of power that has happened in many many governments, corporations, institutions, and yes, even religious organizations.
When any of us feel at liberty to take advantage of someone in a less powerful position than we ourselves hold, we are essentially engaging in a “dog-on-car” action that speaks volumes about who we are and what we are willing to do with power. We are responsible as citizens to call to task our leaders, bankers, businesses we engage with – calling on them to “do what they say” and live true to their values in all aspects of life.
But this all starts right at home. As a teacher, I am responsible to be ever mindful of the relative power that I hold when I engage with students. As an adult, parent and grandparent, I am responsible to be ever mindful of the power that I hold in relation to the children in my life. I am basically an ordinary woman living an ordinary life … but still, I hold powerful weapons that could be used to exploit and abuse others (children, students, friends). I have the same choices that everyone else does!
So here’s to precious Coco, the most cherished children in my life, my friends and family! Not only do I want my life and interactions to live up to my highest ideals of love and peace … but I also pledge to always value any time when it is necessary to call on me for full accountability along these lines! And, here’s to ongoing dialogue that helps us all bring more clarity to what we need in our public leaders, and in those in whom we place our trust.
Here comes 2012 – a banner year for political junkies!
Yes, I admit it … I am a political junky, and also unabashedly what today is being called “liberal” and/or “progressive.” But fundamentally, these labels are, like all labels, much too restricting to really pinpoint my views, much less anyone else’s. When I really examine the system of values that drives my political opinions, I have to point to the values that shaped me in childhood, which were plainly and clearly known as “christian.” Today, I especially detest that particularly label because it has come to mean something entirely
different from what I gleaned in my upbringing! The cartoon here pretty much sums up what I mean …
Long ago I abandoned my childhood affiliation with formal religion, but the values that are at the heart of not only christianity but all major religions, and loudly professed by many, are consistent with the values that shape not only my opinions, but my actions, to the extent that is humanly possible.
One of the values that was taught to me in my early upbringing as a value/action that is among the “worst” is that of hypocrisy. Among my very favorite stories that I heard over and over again was the story of Jesus overturning the tables of the Pharisees who were selling their goods at the entrance to a temple. Please don’t hold me to this little story as accurate, or get into details such as what was supposed to be going on in the story — the important thing here is that I took away a lesson that hypocrisy is one of the worst things in the world! What I got from the story was that the guys (maybe some gals) selling their wares were professing to be righteous, but their actions defied their righteousness. And in fact, this symbolizes in my mind what we are today protesting in terms of the corporate practices that have created our vastly unjust economic system.
So this promises to be a truly banner year! None of us are free of our own indulgences that are clearly in the realm of hypocrisy, and it is not something limited to one political party or another. But the blatant hypocrisy of many who loudly proclaim to be “christian” and then support policies and actions that are so totally non-christian — this is something that I simply cannot abide. Many are also speaking out on this issue, and in this year that is following on the heels of the “year of the protester” it is my hope that we will see more and more exposure of the many hypocrisies that damage our nation and our politics.
So with the fundamental values peace and love, here’s to a fabulous 2012! May it bring lots of discussion that raises the bar in terms of what we expect from our leaders, our politicians, and our movers and shakers!
Never too late to Rock and Roll!
Within the span of about 2 weeks, I became familiar with a punk rock song from the English rock band “The Clash” titled “Should I Stay or Should I Go.” My second exposure to the song was at the Youth Open Mic at the Starry Plough in Berkeley, where one might expect to hear a rock music! Indeed this song was performed (and very well indeed) by a boys band, all about 10 to 14 years old, aspiring to become rock musicians someday.
I was delighted to hear the boys perform this song that had been new to me only a couple of weeks earlier. Admittedly, even though my son, host of the Youth Open Mic, is a very accomplished rock musician and I am terribly proud of his accomplishments, this is not a genre with which I am terribly familiar! So even though the song has been ranked on lists of “greatest rock songs ever” and it was written in 1981, it was new to me. I became a great fan of the song when I watched the splendid documentary about the Northampton, Massachusetts chorus “Young at Heart.” This is a chorus of folks 70 and over who, led by director Bob Cilman, who sing a variety of rock and pop tunes and perform worldwide. Their version of the song is fabulous and endeared me to the song, as well as to the chorus.
The documentary caught my attention one evening when I was looking for diversion from the intense, albeit sadly comical, U.S. political drama that dominates the news. This could not have been a better antidote! The story of the chorus is amazing and I was stunned that for several years I had lived within an hour’s drive of Northamption and visited the town frequently, yet never learned of the existence of this terrific group. This group represents so much of what goes on in the world around us that is good and worthwhile, even though sadly all-too-hidden.
But here’s the thing: Bob Cilman has established something that has meaning far beyond the benefits of creating something unique and bringing great entertainment to all ages. The existence of this group is a symbol of what it takes to make the world a better place, to bring generations together, to find common bonds that are required for honest commitment. I urge you to watch the documentary. The 2012 calendar of shows will be on the web site soon, so watch for a show near you! I am determined to get to one sooner rather than later!
Reflections on the challenges of participatory democracy
For many years I have been thinking about the challenges of Peace & Power, and other forms of participatory democracy, and the “Occupy” movement has intensified my thinking about all of this. I live right next door to a vacant lot in Oakland, California, where last week-end the “Occupy” group tore down a fence last week on Saturday night, then early Sunday morning the now-infamous Oakland police peacefully removed the small
encampment. We watched it all from our living room window but even more intriguing to
me were twitter, Facebook and blog posts about some of the things happening just before, and during the week-end attempt at taking over the vacant lot. The lot is only 3 blocks from the Frank Ogawa Square outside of city hall, where the police had evicted campers a week before, with not-so-peaceful outcomes. You can read one of the most vivid blog accounts of the experience here – and follow the 26 comments left in response to Rebecca’s description .. it is all packed full of insightful and interesting perspectives.
When word spread that the Oakland general assembly (GA) had decided Continue reading
“Peace & Power” has come to the 99%
Ever since the “Occupy” movement started, I have watched, with some amazement, reports of the process that they have developed for the “participatory democracy” that is evolving, and especially their approaches for the General Assemblies! Belief it or not, what is evolving is a version of “Peace and Power” for very
large groups, and I am ecstatic! Of course I would be surprised if anyone involved has actually seen “Peace and Power,” but the important thing is that the ideas that many of us in my circle of friends and colleagues have been using for years are in fact part of a much larger ideal and vision!
For folks who are not (yet) familiar with my long-running book “Peace and Power,” you can peek inside on Amazon! The cover here (and on Amazon) is the 7th edition, but the 8th edition will be out in January!
The video below caught my eye today – it explains the main features of the processes they are using. The “Peace and Power” ideal that is particularly important to notice is that of shared and rotating leadership, and how they are working with shared responsibility and integrating anyone who steps up into the “leadership” process. This is an ideal that baffles most folks in the traditional hierarchies in which I have worked throughout my career, and is met with utter skepticism! But in my heart, I know it works, and brings about Continue reading
